The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
