she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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