After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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