talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
