What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
