I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
