so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
