finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
