We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
