You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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