well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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