But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize