So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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