I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
