I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
