a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
