She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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