just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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