just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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