I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
