Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
