the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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