Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
