pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
