too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
