So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
