your parents love me but you hate me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
