Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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