There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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