I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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