Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
