I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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