He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
is this the sara with the beer cane?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
