i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
