Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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