Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
