worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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