Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
