is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
