Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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