listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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