I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
