So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
