you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
