I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
