Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize