She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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