Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize