I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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