i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
