In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
