the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
