Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
