He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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