drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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