Small penises have feelings too.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
