ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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