Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize