omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
