His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
