jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
