hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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