Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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