When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
