her vagine was all disorganized.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
