She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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