Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
