i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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