He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
