New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need to sanitize my soul.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
