i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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