The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
