that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
this is an emotional support booty call
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
