her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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