ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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